The Bargain

Dearest Soul,

How often in life do we bargain financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? To discover a bargain to save time, money and energy is one thing. However, to fritter away life and bargain our value with ourselves and others is another.

We bargain with the Devil – the devil being a derisive behavior or character trait that leaves us less than who we ought to be. Why bargain and deface the value of who you are? It seems to be a trait centered around worthiness and not enough mindsets. I have come to understand with the help of Brene’ Brown that not enough in her research comes from shame. You know that emotion – it lurks in the shadows and is like blast from a hailstorm, seen very quickly but damaging all the same.

SHAME is that loud billowing from the heckler seats to create an emotion within you that you are bad. It sticks with you like glue and Brene Brown says once you move through that, “Who do you Think You Are?” shows up like royalty at a gala.

It is hard to escape, Who do you think you are?” Striking a bargain with that thought leader is one that you ought to think about because on cusp of breaking free, it can freeze you in one footstep without blinking. I know this because I have experienced it.

 For years I argued with myself that I was not enough and who did I was. They won every time and showed up when I was in the process of having a massive healing breakthrough or life manifestation. Initially I thought like most that the opinion of others mattered most and ultimately that has greater value than I did. I did not see the roots of where that came from. Each expression now, I know, is driven from vastly different mindsets and experiences. I always had value, however when shame came to my door, the fear that I could not connect was in my face big and bold.

Over the last two decades I have searched to understand where and when such thinking arrive. Some ere from life changing events where shame was present, and it demoralized my positive passion and self-belief. Life certainly and with certainty has experience as such that is unavoidable. Why? Because we cannot control how others act and react to who we are. Often in the playgrounds of our life there were those that single out the difference to shame and barrage them with a sense of worthlessness. We have seen those bullies, gathering groups around to devalue one another and yet were we at the front of the line, joining in or were we standing up sharing our voice.

I remember times when I was the one at the center, having a rampart of evil speaking directed at me. Some of you know that feeling and how it changed your perspective of you for life. How you moved through that would have made all the difference. For me it made every difference, taking over forty years to reconcile and heal. I will no longer bargain my value for shame, for gain for friend, foe or otherwise. I am worth every moment I walk this earth because as I touch a life, the ripple of that love and light give them a sense of feeling that brings value in the very moment it happens.

That moment as we break down created values, principles, notions and ideas and the strength of our voice that we carry with us , shared with others’ around us, know what matters most is the people. Let me give you an example of that. I met a woman at Walmart today. I was in the beauty isle looking for facial care for myself and my daughter. Peyton stopped and talked to her, giving her a lovely compliment. 

They created a connection and eventually, in time she asked me what I thought about different facial care. She shared her life struggles with frankness and a great sense of vulnerability.  As she said thank you for the time and conversations, she mentioned she been battling mental health. I looked at her across the isle from my mobile scooter and gently asked, "Would you like a hug? Are you comfortable receiving a hug?"

Her face lit up like a warm summer day, her joy became full as her need, her feeling was found. We hugged till her bucket was full, exchanged numbers and I offered a hand of friendship.

We bargain ourselves down to nothing because of the reactions of others, again who we cannot control their way of being and accept words as our truth, our value. Remember that it isn’t about what you have but how you make another feel, which lasts longer than a Mercedes, billions of dollars, or a mansion.

There is a Māori proverb I learned this week and this is what it says:

    He aha te mea nui o te ao?
    What is the most important thing?

    He tangata, he tangata he tangata.
    It is people, it is people, it is people.

This whakatauki (proverb) speaks to my soul and that people matter, people’s hunger thirsts, troubles, tribulations, joy, hope and happiness. If you take anything with you today, I hope that you remember that - It is the People and that to leave a heartfelt expression with them matters.

Thanks,

ME xx